200 year-old house on 25 rocky acres in high country upstate NY and SO many highbush blueberries!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Drivin' and Cryin'
So I went to pick up a refill on Desmond's painkiller prescription today and spoke to them about his final appointment. For the last six weeks Desmond's been getting high twice a day on some opiate - and it's made a huge difference in his demeanor. There's no pain anymore in him and he notices things now that he used to ignore in his focus on the basics. Get up. Walk. Pee. Poop. Lie down. Now his ears perk up, and sometime he trots. He trots!
But the last week or so has found him unable to get up without a boost and I've realized that it's time for him. I've known for a while that it was coming and am secretly thankful that it comes before we move to the new house. The basement is the only place where a dog could live without walking up steps, and he'd have to live down there by himself or be carried up and down. The one would make him very unhappy and the other, he's made clear hurts him.
It's been a year full of loss and tears over various things and here I am, eyes melting in the car on the way home. But I come around the final bend and see Desmond and Maggie both upright and running (or trotting) to meet me as I stop the car and I think that maybe it's not time after all. Then later he accidentally leaves another poop bomb in the house as he's been doing almost daily for a year and I remember that it really is time for him. I'm sorry Desmond. I'm glad that you're happy and you feel no pain and I'm sorry that it's only because of the drugs. This week you'll eat like a king! Cheeseburgers, ice cream, whatever you want! Too bad you can't tell me to make you a hamburger pie with lamb gravy. Maybe I'll make one anyway.