I had a dream last night that seemed so real I woke up and lay awake last night thinking about it. Normally nothing, but nothing disturbs my sleep (except Desmond, my older dog who frequently can't hold it through the night, and other things that aren't applicable these days). I am not a person who lets the trivial worries of the day affect my sleep. I love sleeping!
The dream was based in my worries about doing a bad job at work. In real life, I am filled with apathy about this job, constantly wishing I was doing homestead stuff. I can't muster enough oomph to do the job they are paying me to do. I am amazed that I haven't been called out for doing mediocre work. There's an easy solution - do a better job. But let's say for a moment, hypothetically, that I'm not doing that very well either.
Anyway - in my dream I am laid off.
What kept me awake is that although I am full of plans, none of them will help me. I don't have a backup plan. Oh - I have some insurance that will pay my house payment for up to a year, so I won't be on the street. But I don't have a backup to that backup. I wouldn't be able to transition any of my plans into a livable income within a year, and that concerns me a LOT.
My primary plan is to start a business renting out goats to eat weeds with a backup in dairy, or herbs, or meat, or ... I don't know what. I'm still working that out. I don't have any goats yet, or any shelter they could live in or any fences to hold them in.
Anyway again - last night's thinking jag got me off my duff and I moved forward on exploring my backup backup option. Teaching. I have been thinking about it for years as a career that makes a difference in the world and has a fair amount of time off at precisely the time when goats might be rented. To add to the appeal, it's a job that is useful anywhere in the world should I suddenly decide to reactivate that Peace Corps application that's been dormant for years or live in Mexico (both things I have seriously considered). It's something I can start to prepare for now, and finish later, if I need to or want to.
I don't take laying awake at night lightly. In my world, that's a serious wake up call (literally), and a sign that something needs to be resolved. I have a meeting tomorrow at a local education college to review my transcripts and discuss options. I have no idea where it will go, if anywhere at all. But I'm going to explore it. If I can get myself to a place where I have a solid backup that can turn into enough income within a year of losing a job, I'll be content (or more so than now). I like having backups, and backups to the backups!
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