Saturday, October 3, 2009


I've lived by myself for years. I've traveled the world alone, driven across the country, twice, alone. I've lived on this 25 acres for almost a year, alone, and I can't remember the last time I've felt this lonely.

If loneliness had a face, it would look like this part of my property. Stiflingly close, very rocky and grey.

Sometimes I long so much for an other half that it's palpable, and it makes me forget that I've been a whole person for my entire life, and forget how happy I generally am by myself. First, I'm going to feel what I'm feeling for a little while. Then I'm going to go out and be part of the world and the people in it. I'll be tip-top again soon enough.


  1. Sending big hugs to you this morning. I, personally, don't feel it's the most natural of states for (wo)man to live alone and totally understand your wanting a partner.

    There are those who believe that the universe will not deliver our perfect partner to us until we stop searching, and start living in a total state of happiness and contentment with ourselves. When we get to that state of being our own true self, the universe will then know the exact perfect person to send as a match to that true self. Make any sense?

    Take the best care of yourself that you can, do what makes you happy, ignore all the nay sayers (including that awful monkey mind in your head), then shout to your trees, rocks, animals and fruit bushes, "This is me, I love myself, I love the joy I get out of life, I appreciate all that is wonderful in my life." (Strive to eliminate any dwelling on or regurgitating of negatives.)

    We can't control anyone or anything else in our lives but if we get our own selves centered, only more blessings will come to us.

    I need to now go practice what I preach.

  2. Thanks Mama Pea - you preach a good sermon!